May
30
2009
I attend a couple of Art Classes each week, one as part of the “Towards Independence” initiative by my local authority and the other run by an advocacy group for people with mental health problems. As everyone there is in the same boat, people do tend to be able to get on with their work in a calm and supportive atmosphere, away from stigma and the worries of fitting in with a more mainstream group of people who do not understand the problems faced.
Writing is also helpful, although it may be “triggering” if one chooses an autobiographical subject, so caution must be exercised.
My Art is almost entirely inspired by the conflicts I have faced and so, to cope, I spend a lot of time considering what I will paint and the impact it will have before committing to canvas. This helps as a means of focussing and interpreting my experiences, releasing my impressions once in a safe space within a set time frame. Whilst the work is drying, I then have time to reflect after my 60 to 90 minutes of concentrated outpouring and I then return home with a clearer attitude and greater insight.
For important issues, a set time and space is important; having a notebook and pen to hand at all times is helpful in working through thoughts for later deeper analysis, as well as to fill in the odd dull moments when prey to distraction.
(Part of post to http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog/index.php/bipolar-creative-ways-to-cope/ )
May
28
2009
Herewith some of the latest outpourings from the brush, pen & mouse of yours truly:
“Rear Window” or “Work/Life Balance” (Preliminary sketch)
“Enough!” Fight against the stigma of mental health (in bad Spanish)
May
11
2009
What a week! Missed out on a job performing online support within the public sector because I was “over experienced.” Then I had an application for help with essential flooring materials turned down. To top it all, one of my potential long-term clients has “run out of cash” just before launching their innovative scheme to direct vulnerable young people towards positive rôle models and life choices and have decided that the new aim is to provide a few links without any of the social bookmarking, geomapping and streaming video that I have spent months developing …
The immortal words of Tony Hancock spring to mind: “stone me! what a life …” or to misquote Frankie Howerd, “Twitter ye not!”
It’s only being so cheerful that keeps me going when surrounded by such shining examples of what the ancients called a “Causas Banjo “
May
04
2009
From: http://bpd.about.com/b/2009/04/21/fda-issues-warning-on-anticonvulsants-used-to-treat-bpd.htm
Tuesday April 21, 2009
The U.S. Food and Drug Administration (FDA) recently issued a warning for people who take anticonvulsant medications such as Tegretol, Neurontin, and Depakote. After careful analysis, the FDA found that individuals who receive these types of medications may be as much as two times more likely to have suicidal thoughts or behaviors than individuals who receive placebos (inactive medications).
This news may be particularly important for individuals with borderline personality disorder (BPD), who are often prescribed anticonvulsants due to their mood-stabilizing properties. BPD is also associated with a very high risk of suicidality. Find more on the specifics of the FDA warning on the FDA website.
For more on the use of anticonvulsants to treat BPD, see the article “BPD and Medications.”
What particularly intrigues me is the unfortunate situation where someone is diagnosed as having epilepsy whilst also having, as yet undiagnosed, Borderline Personality Disorder. I can’t be the only one: epilepsy is just about the most common neurological complaint and personality disorders are becoming more prevalent. If there is a common component - structural, chemical or biological - between these disorders, then the likelihood of co-morbidity is presumably higher than the one in tens of thousands that would be dictated by pure chance. Even that rate of co-occurrence would affect a great number of people in a nation of some tens of millions of people.
In mine own case, I stopped using anticonvulsants - long before my BPD diagnosis - because they seemed to cause more problems than they relieved.
More information at http://www.fda.gov/cder/drug/infopage/antiepileptics/default.htm
The following is a list of antiepileptic drugs* included in the analyses:
Labeling and approval history from Drugs@FDA.
* Some of these drugs are also available in generic form.
May
04
2009
Further thoughts on the “Dirty Instruments” image make me think how closely related it is to the idea of being “forever changed”. The direction of the passage of the dirty instruments container is not obvious; neither is the foreground, nor what is represented by each side of the door, thus making it a fruitful source for consideration and contemplation. The portal is presumably one-way and the other side of it is unknown, rather like the future. The figure wheeling the trolley has been hidden from view - if only to protect the guilty - but is decidedly on the other side from the void representing “now”.
As ever, I must either stop doodling and finish the picture or get on with my writing …
Dirty Instruments - preparatory sketch 4 - “Forever Changed”
May
03
2009
With amazing precision and luck over judgement, I put together a mock-up of “Dirty Instruments” using PowerPoint - it *has* a purpose , at last! The paint brush effects to simulate my cack-handed attempts at replication were then thrown into the mix, producing the following:
“Dirty Instruments” - preparatory sketches 2 & 3
On other fronts, lumbar stability continues, I had an haircut and I have a job interview lined up … what a few days! Amazing how a few simple and relatively small changes can have a massive effect of one’s outlook. I heartedly recommend it.
May
02
2009
Had myself a lumbar epidural yesterday. First night I have slept comfortably for a very long time. I can move my body without pain; let us hope I can extend this metaphor to the rest of me.My wife accompanied me to the hospital and - once in & getting prepared for the ordeal - left to allow me time to centre and find my own space, which I did, quite successfully, with a mixture of prayer, positive thought and realisation that May Day is always a good basis for anything revolutionary and victorious. The thought that I was having an epidural on Labour Day cheered me no end.
The process was odd. There is no other description for the sensation of having someone ferret around your spinal column with a great big needle, anaesthesia or no. I would feel the internal structural workings of my body - albeit second hand because of pressure rather than touch - in a way not experienced outside of the dental chair or the orthopaedic ward.
Perhaps the closest approximation is the “No sh!t Sherlock” moments one encounters in psychotherapy when the blindingly obvious is finally revealed and the explanation for life-long confusion or Muppet-like behaviour becomes painfully apparent.
That said, something else positive came out of the experience: inspiration for a new painting, which I have reduced to three colours in nine areas: that is two regions more than usual: progress indeed!
The walls of the room in which the procedure took place were fascinating on a visual level. They had what was probably originally a floor covering: off white with small black streaks. I presumed the streaks to be the clawing finger marks of previous denizens in their frantic attempts to escape; informed otherwise, I considered using the pattern for a background motif. That is probably for a later date.
To centre myself before the procedure, I explored the geometry of the ward, especially that of the door through which patients passed on their way to and from surgery. I had the proportions and colours set in my mind’s eye when a young African porter pushed a metallic trolley through the double doors. The trolley bore the legend “Dirty Instruments.” Thus, a picture was born, along with the continued realisation that - once again - I would be “forever changed”
“Dirty Instruments” (c) Ian Springham
Preparatory sketches
May
01
2009
May is “Mental Health Awareness Month” - a fact of which I was reminded by Chato B Stewart (Mental Health Advocate - Cartoonist - and a few other things! http://www.mentalhealthhumor.com & http://www.mentalhealthcartoons.com“Using Humor to Heal and Educate with badly drawn cartoons.” - Chato B. Stewart)
Replied to as follows:
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So, back to my new year resolutions …
… I have a new title for my book: “Forever Changed” inspired - of course - by Arthur Lee, Love, Lou Reed & John Cale - film at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KzupngqP6VA
