Capt SpaceBat

No, this is not quite as strange, dangerous or frightening as it might seem at first glance.  Admittedly, it took me a bit of time to get to grips with the idea.  With any mental health diagnosis, one of the more common reactions is to lock one’s self away from the outside world, or only to engage with it on an ultra-safe level, such as hanging around “Pound-a-Pint” pubs all day or dozing through “support group” meetings . This is not necessarily the best and most progressive behaviour, surrounding oneself with very similar people and thus reaffirming one’s identity.  Cultural visits and days out - even window-shopping - can provide stimulation, enjoyment and entertainment; not necessarily at great cost to one’s pocket.

The two greatest financial hurdles to this great endeavour are Transport and Admission Fees. 

---

If one has a mental health diagnosis, it is possible to claim a mobility component to one’s benefit: for people who need help with getting around - further information available at http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/index.htm.  Also the Freedom Pass (or similar scheme) may be available from your local authority, providing free travel - more at http://www.freedompass.org/ Transport for London also have a Bus & Tram discount scheme available - see http://www.tfl.gov.uk/tickets/faresandtickets/5568.aspx - which gives half price fares on the bus and tram network.For readers in the United Kingdom, the above is an approximation of the situation; your own country may work in a similar fashion.

---

The costs of transportation now in part resolved, admission fees are the next hurdle to be overcome.  The good news is that many cultural intstitutions - museums and galleries especially - offer discounted admission to the unwaged, out-of-work and disabled.  Likewise there are many places to go to or to see that are absolutely free.  Local listings guides and newspapers are a great resource for events and attractions, libraries are free and have increasing number of activities on offer not traditionally associated with libraries: events, activities, Internet access, local history and information to name but a few.  Marvelling at Nature’s wonders - parks, gardens, landscapes - is almost always free.  Window-shopping is another past-time that can engross and inform: try to go the very best shopping areas: Bond Street, Hatton Garden, Chelsea and Knightsbridge are among my favourites.  Don’t waste time coveting and wishing you could afford the wonderful things on display; just marvel at them and their settings and surroundings.  Look at the buildings while you are at it.  The architectural heritage - usually above and around the shop window level - is often far more fascinating than the unaffordable offerings below.  Car boot sales offer even more chances to interact with people - both living and the long dead previous owners - see some beautiful things alongside an amount of lesser goods and even pick up a bargain.  It was in fact these local boot sales that first got me out of the house after my diagnosis.  The people tend to be accepting - and usually forgetting, if not forgiving - and one can exercise one’s particular collecting hobbies and find out vast amounts of historical and cultural information, all at little cost or danger to oneself.  Food and day-to-day supplies can also usually be obtained at cut-price, saving even more money.

---

That said, go out & have fun - you don’t have to interact too much with too many people if you don’t want to; but it might just develop at your own accepted pace, along with your improvement and progress.

---

What have I been up to?

• Get published:
  Contacting outside agencies to gather information

• Get exhibited:
  More thoughts on current works in progress; will have to miss tomorrow’s Art class, will make further sketches and notes

• Get rich(er) &/or better:
  Emailed creditors, went to boot sale, had a fab lunch, did more shopping, heard encouraging news about progress of external events which for now must remain unreported.

• Get out of the United Kingdom before the Olympics:
  Set about getting materials for refurbishment of toilet/bathroom, bought radiator “bleeder key”, coincidentally the boiler packed up - arranged for engineer to have a look at the antiquated system - hopefully might even get it replaced!  All making the flat more attractive for another later dweller.

Last night, lying in bed, listening to “Brain of Britain” on BBC Radio 4, the quote from Karl Marx, “History repeats itself, first as tragedy, second as farce” was used as a lead-in to finishing the lesser-known quote from Philip Guedalla - “History repeats itself …”

“Historians repeat each other!” I quipped, having once used that very quote on a test version of I web site that I designed and developed some time last century.  The fact that this was the correct answer seemed only of secondary importance to the synchronous coincidence that I had perceived.

Buoyed by this minor seemingly meaningful coincidence, my interest in the programme was piqued enough to take some more active interest in the questions, readily supplying quite a considerable number of the answers.

Another coincidence was that the organisation for whom I had once worked was based just around the corner from the flat with which we were hoping to exchange, in the cultural heart of London.  Much of yesterday had been spent steam-cleaning the kitchen cupboards to make the place as attractive as possible for our intended swapper.  Much of today was likewise spent mopping, dusting and vacuuming bringing our domicile into its most desirable condition.

Nearly 2 hours has passed since our visitor was due, with no sign, hint or shade of suggestion of his appearance as agreed.  A voicemail to check if he remained interested, had gotten lost, kidnapped or worse elicited no response.  Normally, this would leave me in what could at best be described as a “blue funk”, sure and certain in the true knowledge that the Universe was playing one of its regular cruel hoaxes upon me and that the hours of cleaning and tidying had been to no avail; but no, not this time.

I had tried all kinds of magical thinking to hasten our intended swapper’s arrival - the details of which must remain a closely guarded secret as they are in truth meaningless, trivial and quite pathetic to anybody who isn’t me.  Okay, to be fair, I have pretty much the same view of them; regardless of my opinions on the methods brought to bear, they did not work and as such - having really rarely worked before - should be given up.

Regardless of this - hopefully short term - disappointment, the place looks more appealing as somewhere to live; both for me at present and for any other person interested in exchanging accommodation with us in future, as well as having given me something positive to do with my time for both mine and my wife’s future endeavours.

There is a parallel here with BPD: although people may let you down and plans might not turn out as immediately expected, the time and effort put into preparing and improving one’s environment always goes some way to help one’s overall frame of mind - although occasionally reaffirming one’s low esteem of the rest of mankind and their inability to find one part of their anatomy with another - making one more ready to deal with all the slings, arrows, halberds and other bits of outrageous misfortune that is lobbed in one’s general direction and to realise that it is not necessarily “all about you” just because of something quite unrelated that one heard on the radio when dozing off the night before.  The voices are not in my head; but in the little digitally enhanced box* by my bed.

Magical thinking makes dull bedfellows of us all and should most strongly be resisted, or at least be picked up by the ears and given a good shake and a stern talking-to.

All the above notwithstanding, my plans for the week ahead have now obviously to change a little and my “to do” list needs a touch of re-organisation; this, once a existence-threatening state of affairs, can now be dealt with more readily.

Back to the Resolutions updates: getting published, exhibited and out of the country have all taken a bit of a back seat today; getting richer & better seem to have made progress, making speculative approaches to IT Support companies on the basis that they must need Support Engineers as well as customers.  I hold out a modicum of hope on that front, but realise that they are just a few of the strings that I have in my arsenal and should not be seen as the sole paths to salvation from poverty.

A broad-disciplined multivariate approach is called for; that which does not work must either be abandoned, modified or learnt from, rather than clung to like some piece-of-damp-fur-remnant-of-a-comfort-blanket-or-talisman, for that way lies madness, or at least disappointment.  Fixed ideas are no substitute for evolution, progress and success.  Hasta!

---

http://www.icpa4kids.org/research/articles/childhood/Rock_A_Bye_Baby.htm
http://www.pubmedcentral.nih.gov/articlerender.fcgi?artid=285801

---

* A box which is in big trouble if it keeps up this behaviour.

Apologies to Leon Trotsky for the title; probably not his first pick … oh dear, the year has descended into bad joke territory already and it’s still only the first day of January.

As previously indicated, I have made some resolutions for the year ahead.  Unlike most previous unattainable lists in earlier years, this one will be different: it will be victorious and under permanent review.  You lucky folks will be the beneficiaries of my reviewing of my performing; in other words, I shall update you all with my diurnal progress within these very pages.

I shall achieve at least some progress on at least one item in the list each day:

Resolutions action list - today’s performance:

1. 1. Get published:
      Worked on collating source material. Made difficult by decadent capitalist so-called-Bank Holiday; more tomorrow when things start opening; probably delays until Monday at the earliest when everyone returns from extended Saturnalian debauches a.k.a. Winter holidays.
   2. Get exhibited:
      Discussed options for latest painting: Salon 57, based on abandoned Eurostar terminal at Waterloo, Salon 54, EXAT 51 and the EEC in 1957.
      Further consideration of next multimedia work: 7/7/7, an exploration of extremism.
      Both works to be made available - original, prints & digital versions - to the world at large via http://www.galleries-online.co.uk/gallery/ianspringham and http://www.sansseraphim.co.uk/
   3. Get rich(er) &/or better:
      Found a buyer for a Victorian brooch at http://www.2centuriesantiques.co.uk/
      Decision on writing my daily progress online so I and everyone else can watch my progress with awe, wonder and astonishment.
   4. Get out of the United Kingdom before the Olympics:
      Left message for someone wanting to move out of central London to see if they wanted to swap with a bijou pad in south west London.  Okay, not out of the country, but at least somewhere more in tune with my future endeavours - a stepping stone.  I didn’t expect to be able to emigrate today, or even this week.

More “travails with my Art” tomorrow …

Abandoned Eurostar terminal at Waterloo

On the subject of “Permanent Revolutions”, fraternal greetings and congratulations to the Government of the Socialist Republic of Cuba  on the 50th Anniversary of the 1959 Revolution.  More at http://www.pcc.cu/historia/historia.html

Having written my resolutions for 2009 already, the sort of blog post that I had planned for today has had to change.  Which is good?  Change is good, as is planning; planned, managed change is best.  This is true of many things: blogs, daily activities, work, life, art, computer systems, and the day-to-day management of mental health issues, to name but a few.  It would be great to say that being an expert on all of the former parts of the list that I could put this experience into place better to manage my psyche, psychoses, neuroses, voices, and the like.  Alas, apart from my IT experience, managing change has never been a strong point of mine - an all or nothing; sh!t or bust, concrete or chaos approach, probably indicative of inner turmoil; change always seeming to be at the behest of others outside me: those “in charge.”  Well, part of my short list of resolutions for the year ahead is to take charge more of my situation: I suppose that it all is about “taking charge” - a mighty leap forward for SpaceBat-kind.  Having regular patterns, flexible enough to cope with the external pressures that might seek to alter them subtly and a proven coping strategy seems to be the way that works for most people.  Likewise, those without these in plan or in place seem to be least able to manage in the long run.  Bright shooting stars, burnt out and gone too soon.  Include me out this time around.  Good luck all in the year ahead.  Oh, and if you need an IT consultant, piece of abstract expressionism, magic spells, philtres or charms, antiques, jewellery, garden, house exchange or support group for BPD, discussions on boating, cooking, politics, the environment, magick, sex or death, you know where to come … and don’t forget to have a great 2009.  Or else.

Human Rights Day is celebrated across the world on 10 December.

The date was chosen to honour the United Nations General Assembly’s adoption and proclamation, on 10 December 1948, of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights (UDHR), the first global enunciation of human rights. The commemoration was established in 1950, when the General Assembly invited all states and interested organizations to celebrate the day as they saw fit.

60 years on from UDHR and what has happened? Looking at my categories:

# Antiques - The work of more oppressed people has moved into the antiques category
# Boating - not much progress, barring emigration and piracy
# BPD - mental health: fewer burnings at the stake, although more use of emergency mental health powers to detain State opponents, my art exhibited online
# Death - much more of it in new and more immediate ways; decentralisation of the “State Murder Squad”
# Food - seems to be less of it to go around more people
# Gardening - “see Food”, likewise less of it to go around, also see “Housing”
# General - prognosis not good
# Jewellery - hoarding against harder times
# Legal - more freedoms granted, more restrictions in place
# Money - more of it in fewer hands
# Politics - bread and circuses
# Recycling - greater need whilst more want newer things, see “money” and “Politics”
# Sex - more diversity, less perversity - did anyone mention bondage?

Have to add a new category:
# Housing - more of it exchangeable - see http://blog.gardenlend.co.uk/2008/12/03/gardenlend-the-next-stage-house-and-garden-swap/

Here’s to the next 60 years - cripes, I shall be 100 and - no doubt - “wearing something tight”

Thanks Leonard Cohen!

Many thanks to Chato B. Stewart from Mental Health Humor for this fine caricature.  The additional cartoon elements inspired quite a number of thoughts; mostly postitive ones, which is both a good thing as well as being possibly a first.

Fortunately (for me, in mine humble estimation) the Mental Health profession has not seen fit to treat me with pharmaceuticals; the basis of my particular personality disorder and related traits being psychological rather than physiological, so I don’t really have too much first hand experience of going through the medication treadmill.  Here, in the United Kingdom, the first problem seems to be getting any treatment at all; many trained psychologists and therapists moving straight over to the private sector once qualified leads to a patchy paucity of service.  That said, the quality of care, once finally obtained, is outstanding.  At least that is mine experience of psychotherapy.

The psychiatric and medical end of mental health provision stills seem to be trapped in somewhere, if not “half Disney, half Kraft-Ebbing” at least, a strange amalgam of Franz Kafka’s and Charles Dickens’ discarded plot-lines.  But that again is only my partially-informed opinion.

During one particularly shaky episode a few years ago, I was taken to hospital one Saturday night and - since there was nobody suitable to see me - I was discharged until the following Monday with a supply of anti-psychotics to see me through until then.  On returning home, feeling for a moment that my troubles were actually being taken seriously, I peered into the box of tablets to find 2 (yes, that’s right, two: the number between one and three) little pills.  Outraged at this, I decided the only way out was to attempt an overdose by taking both of the tablets.  At the same time.  After washing them down with a bottle of cheap wine, I decided that the mental health profession had little to offer me and that I was better off fending for myself.

How wrong I was.

Over that year, I had several (countless) episodes, some of which required short visits to hospital to discuss matters with psychiatric and psychological staff, along with the occasional request to be detained under whichever section of the Mental Health Act that I thought either appropriate or had not tried before.  By dint of being in many professionals’ thoughts as they arose, as they lay down and as they awoke screaming in the night - much to my wife’s credit - I finally started a course of psychotherapy.  Some 31 years after it had been first suggested, when I was a young child being taken into care.

The therapy - a short course and a long course - did prove invaluable; more of which at a later date.  It was only through repeated and relentless persecution of the local health authority that this was achieved.  What someone either less determined or without other support would have done to get treated is beyond me; probably resulting in an emergency admission, armed police or suicide.

Even with all this therapy under my mental belt, as stated - I think - in the Qu’ran, knowledge without use is worse than sinful and so I had not only to apply the lessons learnt about myself but to put them to some practical use and learn to interact with other people, breaking the inability to fit within accepted societal norms.  “Websites” came the answer from on high.

Wait, isn’t that what I did before, locked away in my room in the dark avoiding all human contact? Yes, but this time would be different; I would interact. I joined a college evening class to brush up my web skills and slowly reintroduce myself to the world outside of pubs, mental gutters and the dark side of the duvet. 

For both of my two immediately previous courses (online via Vision2Learn) a key part of the course had been to produce a website as a project throughout the course.  Thus two of Sarah’s brainchildren www.SansSeraphim.co.uk and www.GardenLend.co.uk had been born in digital format. 

This course was different.  Each week we learn (or usually re-learnt) some aspect of Advanced Web Design, applying it each time to a new context: Arboriculture, Classic Cars, Bookshops and the like.  Throughout the course I developed - at Sarah’s behest - a site devoted to selling Modernist jewellery: www.Modern-ism.com and managed through highly targetted site optimisation and search engine submission to get it to the front page of the major search engines for most of the desired search terms.

Our range of objets de vertu expanded, covering ever wider periods: eventually over two centuries and more, hence the name of the new website: www.2CenturiesAntiques.co.uk - we are dedicated to bringing you an interesting range of objects, including gold, silver, fine and costume jewellery, pewter, silver plate and silver metalware, glass, pottery, porcelain, costume, textiles, furniture and collectables.

We have called the site “2 Centuries Antiques” because it can contain at, any one time, pieces from any two centuries, apart from the 21st. We stock Georgian, Victorian, Edwardian, Arts & Crafts, Art Nouveau, Art Deco, Modernist, African, Asian and Oriental jewelry, antiques and collectibles. We try to keep our prices as low as possible, and our shipping is free worldwide.

That’s the end of this blog posts’s commercial plug; on a more personal note, if anyone who has a ground floor council or Housing Association flat with a garden that they wish to exchange for a second floor flat with a balcony on the outskirts of Wimbledon, please take a look at http://blog.gardenlend.co.uk/2008/12/03/gardenlend-the-next-stage-house-and-garden-swap/