Sep 21 2009
The name of a mythical (i.e. made-up!) Indie Rock band from London in the 1990s. Contracted to provide the soundtrack for the forthcoming book, movie, , musical, mime show and online experience known as “Between The Cracks” (2010)
Inspired by repeated traipsing home after a long night’s cruising and other unwise ingestion.
After a decade, I am finally able to acknowledge my near-autobiographical creation
Jul 03 2009
Apologies to my followers and readers for being out of the loop for so long, but I have been - finally - working on my autobiography.
“Between the Cracks” is a bit of a (so far!) life-long work in progress, having undergone a range of name changes, abortive starts, diversionary tactics and writers’ blocks.
Synopsis: I am an adult survivor of extended childhood abuse. I only started addressing these issues in 2005, undergoing psychotherapy and taking legal action against the local authority responsible for my childhood “care”. They settled out of court in 2008. I have obtained access to most, if not all, of my early life records and am compiling them into a book – along with my thoughts and recollections, art and photographs – to highlight how easy it is to fall “between the cracks” and be failed by the social and other services.
This is in part to encourage the others as well as to help me continue to come to terms with the pervasive after-effects of such neglect, oversight and exploitation.
May 30 2009
I attend a couple of Art Classes each week, one as part of the “Towards Independence” initiative by my local authority and the other run by an advocacy group for people with mental health problems. As everyone there is in the same boat, people do tend to be able to get on with their work in a calm and supportive atmosphere, away from stigma and the worries of fitting in with a more mainstream group of people who do not understand the problems faced.
Writing is also helpful, although it may be “triggering” if one chooses an autobiographical subject, so caution must be exercised.
My Art is almost entirely inspired by the conflicts I have faced and so, to cope, I spend a lot of time considering what I will paint and the impact it will have before committing to canvas. This helps as a means of focussing and interpreting my experiences, releasing my impressions once in a safe space within a set time frame. Whilst the work is drying, I then have time to reflect after my 60 to 90 minutes of concentrated outpouring and I then return home with a clearer attitude and greater insight.
For important issues, a set time and space is important; having a notebook and pen to hand at all times is helpful in working through thoughts for later deeper analysis, as well as to fill in the odd dull moments when prey to distraction.
(Part of post to http://www.bipolarcentral.com/bipolarsupporterblog/index.php/bipolar-creative-ways-to-cope/ )
May 28 2009
Herewith some of the latest outpourings from the brush, pen & mouse of yours truly:
May 04 2009
Further thoughts on the “Dirty Instruments” image make me think how closely related it is to the idea of being “forever changed”. The direction of the passage of the dirty instruments container is not obvious; neither is the foreground, nor what is represented by each side of the door, thus making it a fruitful source for consideration and contemplation. The portal is presumably one-way and the other side of it is unknown, rather like the future. The figure wheeling the trolley has been hidden from view - if only to protect the guilty - but is decidedly on the other side from the void representing “now”.
As ever, I must either stop doodling and finish the picture or get on with my writing …
Dirty Instruments - preparatory sketch 4 - “Forever Changed”
May 03 2009
With amazing precision and luck over judgement, I put together a mock-up of “Dirty Instruments” using PowerPoint - it *has* a purpose , at last! The paint brush effects to simulate my cack-handed attempts at replication were then thrown into the mix, producing the following:
On other fronts, lumbar stability continues, I had an haircut and I have a job interview lined up … what a few days! Amazing how a few simple and relatively small changes can have a massive effect of one’s outlook. I heartedly recommend it.
May 02 2009
Had myself a lumbar epidural yesterday. First night I have slept comfortably for a very long time. I can move my body without pain; let us hope I can extend this metaphor to the rest of me.My wife accompanied me to the hospital and - once in & getting prepared for the ordeal - left to allow me time to centre and find my own space, which I did, quite successfully, with a mixture of prayer, positive thought and realisation that May Day is always a good basis for anything revolutionary and victorious. The thought that I was having an epidural on Labour Day cheered me no end.
The process was odd. There is no other description for the sensation of having someone ferret around your spinal column with a great big needle, anaesthesia or no. I would feel the internal structural workings of my body - albeit second hand because of pressure rather than touch - in a way not experienced outside of the dental chair or the orthopaedic ward.
Perhaps the closest approximation is the “No sh!t Sherlock” moments one encounters in psychotherapy when the blindingly obvious is finally revealed and the explanation for life-long confusion or Muppet-like behaviour becomes painfully apparent.
That said, something else positive came out of the experience: inspiration for a new painting, which I have reduced to three colours in nine areas: that is two regions more than usual: progress indeed!
The walls of the room in which the procedure took place were fascinating on a visual level. They had what was probably originally a floor covering: off white with small black streaks. I presumed the streaks to be the clawing finger marks of previous denizens in their frantic attempts to escape; informed otherwise, I considered using the pattern for a background motif. That is probably for a later date.
To centre myself before the procedure, I explored the geometry of the ward, especially that of the door through which patients passed on their way to and from surgery. I had the proportions and colours set in my mind’s eye when a young African porter pushed a metallic trolley through the double doors. The trolley bore the legend “Dirty Instruments.” Thus, a picture was born, along with the continued realisation that - once again - I would be “forever changed”
May 01 2009
May is “Mental Health Awareness Month” - a fact of which I was reminded by Chato B Stewart (Mental Health Advocate - Cartoonist - and a few other things! http://www.mentalhealthhumor.com & http://www.mentalhealthcartoons.com“Using Humor to Heal and Educate with badly drawn cartoons.” - Chato B. Stewart)
Replied to as follows:
Apr 15 2009
I finally got around to hanging two of my best bits of Personality Disorder Artwork: both acrylic on canvas (50cm x 40cm)
“You DID this” and “Ain’t no cure for love”
Photographed together here for the first time. Your thoughts and comments - plus serious offers of money for them - are welcomed, as always.
As with everything else, the paintings are (c) Ian Springham - as is the photograph, natch.
Apr 15 2009
Else most assuredly we shall all hang separately.
More pictures on the wall (C) Ian Springham
Inspired by: moving out of the “50’s Soviet Psychiatric Hospital” to a wonderful flat; Wandle HA, Helen’s Art Group and - of course - Sarah.
“Salon 57″ exploratory version. Paint on Canvas. 20 x 20 cm. Signed. Yours for £184 inc. p&p
Inspired by the inability of anyone to run a train service and creative expressionism under Stalinist oppression.
Have also managed to get my online gardening shop inline on one of my other blogs http://blog.gardenlend.co.uk/gardenlend-shop/
Please visit - it’s worth a look for all your gardening and home security needs.
