Capt SpaceBat

The European elections are on the 4th of June which is our chance to influence the future political and environmental direction of Europe when electing our local representatives.

Will members use it as a means of punishing their local and national leaders or to direct European representation? On the other hand, will they ignore it as just another opportunity for the self-serving to line up at the trough.

What are the dangers of a low turnout allowing single-issue and extremist parties wielding disproportionate power?

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Else most assuredly we shall all hang separately.

More pictures on the wall (C) Ian Springham

“Free at last!”

Inspired by: moving out of the “50’s Soviet Psychiatric Hospital” to a wonderful flat; Wandle HA, Helen’s Art Group and - of course - Sarah.

“Salon 57″ exploratory version. Paint on Canvas. 20 x 20 cm. Signed. Yours for £184 inc. p&p

Inspired by the inability of anyone to run a train service and creative expressionism under Stalinist oppression.

Have also managed to get my online gardening shop inline on one of my other blogs http://blog.gardenlend.co.uk/gardenlend-shop/

Please visit - it’s worth a look for all your gardening and home security needs.

Spring is nearly upon us and the great wilds that are the gardens are calling each of us to plant, tend and grow things to help feed ourselves, save the planet from rapid extinction and to get out & about a bit, picking up some vitamin D on the way.  All well and good, but what about those of us who have no garden or green space to call our own?

As you may have spotted, my wife and I run GardenLend.co.uk - a garden-sharing scheme that was pioneered back in 2006. The message is still - as then -  pretty simple and straightforward:

“Got a garden? Fed up with it? Can’t cope any longer? Just not interested? Have the weeds taken over?

Want a garden? Frustrated green fingers? Not even a balcony? No window sill? Dreaming of flowers and vegetables?

Look no further. Well, only a little further.

GardenLend is a website that links up neglected gardens and their owners with keen gardeners who have nowhere to garden. The site has undergone a revamp and we aim to have as much as possible of the services and features available online.

Registering at our members’ area all that it takes to start to solve your problems. We provide the contacts and you take it from there.”

The idea has developed over the years through and is nearing mainstream acceptance, the idea having been picked up on by amongst others Transition Towns and food and garden related TV programmes.

Looking through the web server logs, we find we are getting more and more hits from people searching for means of more productively using the land that is usually right before our eyes and under our collective noses.  With thousand of visitors, the second most common way of coming across our site is via the search for “Garden sharing” which links to http://blog.gardenlend.co.uk/tag/garden-sharing/ on this blog.

To register for garden sharing, simply go to http://find.gardenlend.co.uk/ All you then need do is to post your message - either for a garden or a gardener - and wait for the replies.  All arrangements are private ones between the members and are on their own terms as agreed.  What could be simpler?

Have been trying to extend my reach into the outside world of late - work and its many manifestations.  This has been quite a scary proposition, as it would mean having to meet, get on with, interact with, and possibly have to cope with other people on a very regular basis.

My history of doing this either successfully or well is rather patchy at best - as you might have guessed.  Having BPD does make for somewhat hazardous working relationships - or any relationships, for that matter.  This was part of the reason that I chose I.T. as a profession: having been traumatised by people from a very early age, I thought that computing with its lack of emphasis on the soft machine would make for a safer life, but guess what - it did not, as people were still involved.

With the advent of the Internet and more especially the World Wide Web, the physical interactions with humans did look like it could be minimised, but the expansion of social networking brings people back into it - what to do, when I am sometimes terrified by emails and have paranoid fears about what others may think and share about me?

I suppose I could return “to the soil” but that is similarly tainted by the bullying childhood punishments of my foster-father in my mind,

Perhaps I should “just get over it” - now there is a simplistic answer if ever I heard one; nothing else - except psychotherapy that the NHS is unwilling to pay for and I am unable to afford - seems to work, so I might just try it.  Well, I can always pay for therapy if I earn enough; if I do not, I will probably need it even more.

I suppose I could actually set about writing my autobiography, thus doing mine own talking therapy on paper (or at least on the computer to which I once entrusted my future) - which, as I recall, was one of my New Year resolutions.  Speaking of which, I had better get on with them: getting published, exhibited, better, richer and out of here, as I recall … does anyone want to buy a brass lighter?

As forecast yesterday, we went down to the allotment today to check on things.  Life for me and all those around seems to be returning to at least the outward and visible signs of normal after the prolonged festive period; abandoned Christmas trees littering the streets nearly a week after Twelfth Night.  This is very strange: people chop down and kill deciduous trees which would normally keep their foliage all year round, put them in a bucket in their homes and then complain when the tree’s needles fall off.  Wouldn’t it be more sensible to sit in one’s pyjamas around a live tree, eating sweets and other goodies out of one’s socks?  If the custom had to be continued indoors, why not settle for a bonsai scots pine? German Paganism has a lot to answer for, in my opinion.  Kaizen Bonsai seem to have the answer …

Proof that Christmas is finally over

Down at the allotment, things seem pretty much under control: the beans seem to have made it through the recent cold snap and the kale is still going strong.  Bird feeding rings that look like seed-flavoured bagels were affixed to appropriate high points to keep our feathered friends stocked up on food and essential oils whilst distracting them from the nearby produce.  There is a weath of wildlife at the “leisure gardens” - as I think they are officially designated - feeding is good for them, their habitat and the environment generally, whilst giving close viewing of them - plus points all round!

Feed the birds (on the wires)

Since the cold weather and our earlier industrious excavation meant that there were few brambles or weeds to contend with.  There is a lesson here - dig out the main “root causes” of your troubles and you will only have to manage to clear the odd superficial problem.  Gardening and growing as manageable therapy rather than a Hurculean task - the way forward!

Seeing that little needed immediate attention, we looked around to see other patches and how they were doing.  A nearby allotment had put old household fittings to great use in making containers and raised beds: not quite the frontier spirit according to some people, but inspiring nevertheless: why not put these things to good use rather than ending up in landfill?

Imaginative uses for old household items

Despite our neighbours’ most valiant attempts to control what grows and where it goes about doing so, I was pleased to see a solitary Swiss Chard poking its leaves out from amidst the varying covers that were being used to check weed growth and to protect the underlying beds. Proof, if any were needed, that life goes on - despite the best efforts of others!

There is a crack in everything

(”That’s how the light gets in” - thanks L. Cohen!)

I had made various plans to go out and do various things today; the weather was so foul and - especially - cold that wiser judgement prevailed and - apart from popping around to the corner shop for emergency supplies of cat litter and a TV guide - so I spent most of the day at home.

The past two days had been so eventful that a bit of a breather was required.  This is also important as, whilst each day must be victorious, one should rest up when needed and take stock in order to be fresh for the battles ahead.  Tomorrow is set for low-level physical exertion outside: shopping (favourite day-to-day food-stuffs) and a visit to the allotment to check on things and to hang some feeders for the wild birds to eat rather than our broad beans, which may already be worthy of Clarence Frank Birdseye II.

Monday is due to be fairly busy, starting with a telephone call to Her Majesty’s Revenue and Customs (formerly the “Inland Revenue”) to sort out some taxing matters, followed by a visit to one of the many local flooring companies that are having swingeing price cuts to buy some blue mosaic vinyl for the wet room.  All this generally to improve our lot, as well as to become more confident about interaction with “perceived figures of authority.”  Which of the two is to prove the more gruelling- taxation authority by phone or guardian of the patterned flooring in person - will be of interest and reported on in due course.

No, this is not quite as strange, dangerous or frightening as it might seem at first glance.  Admittedly, it took me a bit of time to get to grips with the idea.  With any mental health diagnosis, one of the more common reactions is to lock one’s self away from the outside world, or only to engage with it on an ultra-safe level, such as hanging around “Pound-a-Pint” pubs all day or dozing through “support group” meetings . This is not necessarily the best and most progressive behaviour, surrounding oneself with very similar people and thus reaffirming one’s identity.  Cultural visits and days out - even window-shopping - can provide stimulation, enjoyment and entertainment; not necessarily at great cost to one’s pocket.

The two greatest financial hurdles to this great endeavour are Transport and Admission Fees. 

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If one has a mental health diagnosis, it is possible to claim a mobility component to one’s benefit: for people who need help with getting around - further information available at http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/DisabledPeople/index.htm.  Also the Freedom Pass (or similar scheme) may be available from your local authority, providing free travel - more at http://www.freedompass.org/ Transport for London also have a Bus & Tram discount scheme available - see http://www.tfl.gov.uk/tickets/faresandtickets/5568.aspx - which gives half price fares on the bus and tram network.For readers in the United Kingdom, the above is an approximation of the situation; your own country may work in a similar fashion.

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The costs of transportation now in part resolved, admission fees are the next hurdle to be overcome.  The good news is that many cultural intstitutions - museums and galleries especially - offer discounted admission to the unwaged, out-of-work and disabled.  Likewise there are many places to go to or to see that are absolutely free.  Local listings guides and newspapers are a great resource for events and attractions, libraries are free and have increasing number of activities on offer not traditionally associated with libraries: events, activities, Internet access, local history and information to name but a few.  Marvelling at Nature’s wonders - parks, gardens, landscapes - is almost always free.  Window-shopping is another past-time that can engross and inform: try to go the very best shopping areas: Bond Street, Hatton Garden, Chelsea and Knightsbridge are among my favourites.  Don’t waste time coveting and wishing you could afford the wonderful things on display; just marvel at them and their settings and surroundings.  Look at the buildings while you are at it.  The architectural heritage - usually above and around the shop window level - is often far more fascinating than the unaffordable offerings below.  Car boot sales offer even more chances to interact with people - both living and the long dead previous owners - see some beautiful things alongside an amount of lesser goods and even pick up a bargain.  It was in fact these local boot sales that first got me out of the house after my diagnosis.  The people tend to be accepting - and usually forgetting, if not forgiving - and one can exercise one’s particular collecting hobbies and find out vast amounts of historical and cultural information, all at little cost or danger to oneself.  Food and day-to-day supplies can also usually be obtained at cut-price, saving even more money.

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That said, go out & have fun - you don’t have to interact too much with too many people if you don’t want to; but it might just develop at your own accepted pace, along with your improvement and progress.

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What have I been up to?

• Get published:
  Contacting outside agencies to gather information

• Get exhibited:
  More thoughts on current works in progress; will have to miss tomorrow’s Art class, will make further sketches and notes

• Get rich(er) &/or better:
  Emailed creditors, went to boot sale, had a fab lunch, did more shopping, heard encouraging news about progress of external events which for now must remain unreported.

• Get out of the United Kingdom before the Olympics:
  Set about getting materials for refurbishment of toilet/bathroom, bought radiator “bleeder key”, coincidentally the boiler packed up - arranged for engineer to have a look at the antiquated system - hopefully might even get it replaced!  All making the flat more attractive for another later dweller.

Having written my resolutions for 2009 already, the sort of blog post that I had planned for today has had to change.  Which is good?  Change is good, as is planning; planned, managed change is best.  This is true of many things: blogs, daily activities, work, life, art, computer systems, and the day-to-day management of mental health issues, to name but a few.  It would be great to say that being an expert on all of the former parts of the list that I could put this experience into place better to manage my psyche, psychoses, neuroses, voices, and the like.  Alas, apart from my IT experience, managing change has never been a strong point of mine - an all or nothing; sh!t or bust, concrete or chaos approach, probably indicative of inner turmoil; change always seeming to be at the behest of others outside me: those “in charge.”  Well, part of my short list of resolutions for the year ahead is to take charge more of my situation: I suppose that it all is about “taking charge” - a mighty leap forward for SpaceBat-kind.  Having regular patterns, flexible enough to cope with the external pressures that might seek to alter them subtly and a proven coping strategy seems to be the way that works for most people.  Likewise, those without these in plan or in place seem to be least able to manage in the long run.  Bright shooting stars, burnt out and gone too soon.  Include me out this time around.  Good luck all in the year ahead.  Oh, and if you need an IT consultant, piece of abstract expressionism, magic spells, philtres or charms, antiques, jewellery, garden, house exchange or support group for BPD, discussions on boating, cooking, politics, the environment, magick, sex or death, you know where to come … and don’t forget to have a great 2009.  Or else.

I received my first comment on this blog today that was not from someone with an ax(e) to grind:

I also believe in magic, well it’s quantum physics in a nutshell isn’t it really?
Comment by yanjiaren 12.29.08

Yanjiaren may have also cracked the secret of how it all works wide open for all to see; well our views seem to concur.  I still haven’t quite worked out how we manage to tamper with the universe through the practice of Magick, but I suppose half of the fun would be over if it was fully understood.  The important thing is that someone read what I wrote yesterday and replied with their own thoughts.

I checked Yanjiaren’s blog, just in case it was all about quantum physics for naked three-bar-fire-circling dancers and was firstly relieved to find that it wasn’t; secondly I was pleased to find that the blog’s focus is on “the race is on to change the World from mean to green” and is well worth a read.  Especially if you are in the “mean” camp - it’s not too late for you - also worth joining GardenLend if you have or need a garden …

What else happened today?  Went shopping, did the laundry, (almost) got my external hard drive working perfectly - well at least good enough, and someone expressed an interest in joining the Borderline Personality Disorder & Family group at:

http://groups.google.com/group/borderline-personality-disorder-and-nons-joined

Without revealing any details here, I explained what the group was for, how it worked, what was offered and that the person in question had more options after joining than before; if only one more option.  The group’s declared aim is to be “A guide to those with BPD and the people who love and care for them. From the outside borderline behavior is confusing to your loved ones. Here we unravel that behavior so we understand ourselves and show those that do truly love us, how to cope and help us be the people we want to be.”

If you are interested, please join http://www.tinyurl.com/BPDandFamily

“Lights” for sale

Christmas Day is almost over in the UK and it looks almost like I shall make it through unscathed - almost a first and almost certainly an unprecedented overuse of the word “almost.”

The same idea running round and round and round my head - “Please be quiet, Whistler, please!!!!!!!!!”  Ahhh - peace for a moment or several; hopefully for long enough to pen this entry. Bouncing around a bit less now, a few deep breaths, calm restored, almost …

Today has gone pretty well so far: made breakfast of eggs on asparagus with shaved funky cheese, all in a sauce of mine own devizing, then down to the allotment to harvest some Kale for tonight’s supper.  Allotment looking good and not too weed-infested; not too much work to get it ready for Spring.  Nothing lost, damaged or stolen, except possibly a potato plant dug up by a passing rabbit - they too must eat, so I cannot begrudge them their Yuletide larceny.

 

Whistler seems to be choking on an overdose of catnip - Madam has administered the feline equivalent of the Heimlich manoeuvre, so Rolf Harris will have to wait another day for his rendition of “Two little boys who just didn’t make it through the night.”

Where were we? GOK, as they say - feline chaos all around me.  Somehow I have to knock out 75,000 or so words in a few months.  This 100+ words a day on this site is proving helpful in getting into the swing of regular writing; but it is all rather done at snatched moments throughout the day.  As previously intimated, the year ahead looks like it’s going to be a busy - and fruitful - one, so getting into positive patterns of behaviour by then is a good idea, the only idea, in fact, although quite how does always seem a little beyond me.

Lunch - not the traditional Xmas Roast: Kidney bean curry and Methi rice - the joys of vegetarianism.  Still, the main “blow-out” as such will be this evening; something partridge-pheasantesque based upon Quorn, along with potatoes, mushrooms, Brussels sprouts, peas, gravy from a stock passed down through the generations and then a variation of my classic: “Sharon Muffins Surprise!” - no persimmons, nor muffins; a new concotion of flour, eggs, milk, fruits and various exotic spices.  Photo possibly tomorrow if it proves not to be explosive.

What else today?  Moved the fish (Norbert and Keith - 

) there might be a video there; it keeps screwing up and as such is not worth worrying about too much - I shall see later if I can get the wretched thing working) out of harm’s (i.e. Whistler’s) way.

The Flash insertion process seems to have wiped out the matchless prose that ran after it, so that will have to wait for another day. My dictum “Flash is evil” seems ever more apt.  I wonder if SWF files can be added as comments; I have managed to do so on the GardenLend blog, so not all hope is lost.  Thistles are starting to look jolly appetising. Well, at least there is someone feeling worse than me …

… reminds me, must check on the stick insects in the bathroom.  Toodle-pip!